Thursday, June 17, 2010

"Maybe" part 1

This was the song playing on the radio as my husband drove home on a night that further signified the closing of a chapter of our lives and the opening of a new one.
It's funny how fast life can change. For the last five years, I have played the role of care giver, first to my mother and then to my grandparents. It has been a labor of love, one that I would not change for the world. Only a mere week before the 4th anniversary of my mother's death, my grandmother, my memaw, finally went home to meet her Creator and join the family that had gone on before her. Her quality of life had been poor for too long and as much as I knew I would miss her, I wanted her to be free of the frail frame that housed a now weary mind that was trapped in a fog of confusion. It was a difficult death. It broke my heart that her last hours on this earth were so labored and yet despite that, she was surrounded by all of her grandchildren and there was an overpowering flood of love that filled the room. It was almost as though it was memaw's last gift to her legacy, to bring all of her grandchildren together to embrace what was so important to her, family. It's a unique situation, seeing a loved one off to heaven, one that for us, strengthened our family bond and brought us all closer together. It was not until I was writing and processing the events of the last weeks, that I even realized the gift that she gave us on her heavenly birthday. God is good, my baby girl is home and I have started to realize that a chapter of my life is ending that may leave me a bit lost for a spell. But it also leaves me wondering what great adventures God has for me next. While I have to be honest and say I hope things are a bit calmer in the next chapter, I know that whatever He has in store can be nothing less than great. I am so very grateful for the opportunities that God has given me to learn and grow in so many ways these last several years and how abundantly He has blessed me in ways I could have never imagined.