Dear Mama,

It was three years ago tonight that you were crowned with your heavenly birthday and my world changed forever.
That night as we raced up to the hospital and Kevin called me with the news that you were no longer with us in this world, I remember like it was yesterday the wailing that erupted from me as my heart broke. The woman that brought me into this world, who has loved me every second of my life was gone from my earthly grasp.
I miss you mama.
I remember oh so clearly the last time I saw you. We were standing on the front walkway of your house and I was hugging you goodbye as you awaited daddy's long anticipated arrival home. We were both apprehensive about his arrival, and I remember we held onto each other for an extra long time as we hugged. I was determined to support you despite my own doubts and misgivings about daddy's homecoming. I remember we lingered there. I go back to that moment so many times in my mind when I miss you. I can almost feel your arms around me when I close my eyes.
It was the longest we had gone in a very long time without seeing each other. Two weeks. I know, we talked every day, many times multiple times, but I never saw you alive again after daddy came home.
I never got to take you to your Mother's Day tea. I know, you had a lot of days you were not feeling well, but I really wanted to take you. I suppose we can put that on the calendar when I come home.
Kevin and I have started a lovely tradition though. I know you would like it. Every year we go back out to where our family shared some of our most precious moments and we visit you on the hillside where we scattered your ashes.



I always pick the wildflowers that are blooming along the hike there and leave them for you under your tree.


We reminisce about all the many things that made you special and count our blessings knowing that God called you home at just the perfect time. We talk about how we miss you. We daydream about a time when we could buy WindDreamer back again. We never cease to be amazed at how serene and beautiful the land is where we laid you to rest. We then head back into town to eat at one of our favorite stops where we often frequented as a family. We enjoy the conversation and closeness that we have always shared.
Mama, you would be proud. We do a good job of looking out for each other and being there for each other.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. No day where I don't miss you.
But I know, I will see you again someday and I know you still pop in from time to time to let me know that you are still looking over me from heaven.
Today, we celebrated your life, the love that you poured over us, the lessons you have taught us and the beauty that you carried that dimmed this world when you left it.
I love you,
your baby girl